WHEN THEY LEAVE THE NEST
By Lulu Logan
Parents of babies, toddlers, school-age children, and teens know each age presents challenges, and each child is a puzzle unto themselves. But the goal is the same—to love them and take care of them to our utmost ability.
When my children were born, I desperately wished for a full night’s sleep, believing that once the baby slept through the night, I would be set free. If only I had known that teething, illnesses, sleepovers, and broken curfews would also disrupt my sleep. A good night’s sleep was years away.
Still, I believed my deep concern for them would evaporate as they grew into adulthood. Instead, my lack of control in their adult lives has sometimes contributed to even deeper frustration.
Though I carried them within the nourishing warmth of my body and will always consider them “mine,” I have been surprised that this close and incomparable bond of love is not shared by them toward me.
Yes, of course, the four of them love me and treat me with respect, but that mother/child bond is not reciprocated. They don’t feel the same possessiveness toward me that I have toward them.
When my heart aches for their closeness, or when their life paths, choices, and journeys do not include me, I wonder whether my higher self, my interior Mother/Father God, suffers similarly when I desert that relationship. If the very hairs on my head are counted and divine DNA courses through the marrow of my bones, yet I seek less than the best for myself, I thwart the unfathomable love of God.
Remembering this truth, I find myself better able to take my hands of the very things that are none of my business, to keep my lips sealed, and to allow our relationship to grow as each child desires. Just as divine wisdom inherently allows me to do the seeking, the knocking, and the answering, so my growing wisdom can allow the same for my children.
Jeremiah 29:11 says, “For surely I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for your welfare and not for harm, to give you a future
I had these same thoughts when each of my children were conceived, yet my power was limited. However, God’s power within me, and within them, is unlimited. So I surrender them—surrender them to their own devices, choices, life paths, and journeys.
As long as I draw breath, I will be present for my children, who are now all grown up, just as I know God is always present for me.
Rev. Lulu Logan is a regular speaker at Unity of Merritt Island, Florida,
and is starting an online community called Sojourners of Unity.